How do you get over a crush? A guide for a heart in turmoil

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Louise Barnett
Louise Barnett
I'm Louise Barnett, the editor at, where my days are filled with the exploration of myriad subjects that pique my curiosity and feed my ever-growing appetite for knowledge. From the latest in laser cutting technology to the timeless wisdom of yoga and meditation, my work allows me to dive deep into topics that not only fascinate me but also have the potential to improve our daily lives. I have a particular interest in how ancient practices meet modern life, leading me to explore everything from Ayurveda to minimalism and beyond. My journey has taught me the importance of balance—between innovation and tradition, action and reflection, and between the digital and the natural world. Each article I publish is a step towards understanding this balance better, hoping to inspire others along the way.

Experiencing love is one of the most beautiful experiences in human life. However, what to do when this feeling becomes a source of pain? How do you unlove and find peace of mind? Here is a comprehensive guide to help you through this difficult process.

How to detach: understanding your feelings

Before taking any action, it’s a good idea to understand what you really feel. Is it really love, or is it habit, fear of loneliness or other feelings? Analyzing your own emotions will help you better understand yourself and make the right decisions.

How to detach yourself from a friend or former partner depends largely on what feelings you really have for that person. We often confuse love with other feelings, which can be just as intense, but are of a different nature. Here are some feelings that are worth recognizing:


Being with someone for a long time leads to the formation of certain habits and routines. It may happen that what was initially love has turned into a habit. If this is the case, then the unloving involves breaking with the routine and creating new habits.

Fear of loneliness

Some people are afraid of being alone. That’s why they stick to a relationship, even if they are not happy in it. If your feelings stem from a fear of loneliness, it’s worth focusing on building a relationship with yourself and making new friends.

Emotional addiction

Emotional addiction is when one person is too dependent on another. If you feel that you can’t live without a particular person, it may be a sign that you are emotionally dependent on him or her. If this is the case, it’s a good idea to consult a psychologist or therapist.

Low self-esteem

Sometimes we hold on to relationships because we think we don’t deserve better. If your feelings stem from low self-esteem, it’s worth working on strengthening your self-esteem.

In conclusion, understanding your feelings is the key to unloving yourself. Once you identify what you really feel, you will be able to make informed decisions and find true happiness.

How do you un-crush yourself without breaking contact?

How do you un-divorce without breaking contact? It’s difficult, but not impossible. Distance, both emotionally and physically, is the key. Avoid meetings, limit contact, and above all, give yourself time. Time heals wounds, and distance allows you to look at the situation from a different perspective.

Emotional distance

Emotional distance is about creating a certain barrier between you and the person you want to distance yourself from. This means that you don’t let your feelings toward that person dominate your life. You can achieve this through meditation, talking to loved ones or consulting a therapist. It is important to learn to control your feelings and not let them control your life.

Physical distance

Physical distance involves avoiding meetings with the person you want to dissociate from. If possible, keep contact to a minimum. If you must meet with the person (for example, because of work), try to keep these encounters as short and least emotional as possible. Avoid places that remind you of this person, and situations that may lead to the resumption of your relationship.

How do you break away without breaking contact?
How do you break up without breaking contact? / canva

Experiencing the loss

Experiencing loss is a natural stage after the end of any relationship. Allow yourself to feel sad, cry and grieve. It’s important not to suppress your feelings, but to experience them. This will make the process of de-briefing go faster.

Acceptance of feelings

Acceptance of your feelings is the first step to experiencing them. Don’t judge yourself for feeling sadness, grief or anger. These are natural feelings that accompany the process of de-briefing. Give yourself the right to experience them.

Support from loved ones

Support from loved ones is invaluable during difficult times. Talking to friends or family will help you sort out your thoughts and feel better. If you feel you need professional help, feel free to consult a therapist.

Finding a new purpose

Experiencing a loss often leads to a sense of emptiness. To fill it, it’s a good idea to find a new purpose in life. This could be a new hobby, traveling, learning something new or getting involved in volunteer work. It is important to find something that brings you joy and allows you to focus on the future.

Experiencing loss

Experiencing loss is a natural stage after the end of any relationship. Allow yourself to feel sad, cry and grieve. It’s important not to suppress your feelings, but to experience them. This will make the process of de-briefing go faster.

The grieving process

Experiencing a loss often involves a grieving process. It can manifest itself in five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Each of these stages is important and helps you work through the feelings associated with the loss. Allow yourself to experience them, but remember that each stage is temporary and will eventually pass.

Support during difficult times

In difficult times, support from loved ones is invaluable. Talking to friends, family or a therapist can help you sort out your thoughts and feel better. If you feel you need professional help, feel free to consult a psychologist.

Acceptance of loss

Acceptance of the loss is a key step in the process of de-briefing. It means that you understand that certain things will not go back to the way they were and you are ready to move on. Acceptance allows you to let go of the past and focus on the future.

Finding a new hobby

How to get unstuck quickly? One way is to find a new hobby or activity that allows you to focus on something else. It could be sports, dancing, painting or anything else. The important thing is that you find something that brings you joy and takes your mind off your ex-partner.

Passion as a cure for a broken heart

Engaging in a passion is a great way to take your thoughts away from pain and sadness. When you focus on something you truly love, your thoughts and emotions are directed in another direction. This can be anything – from learning a new language to cooking to skydiving. What’s important is that you find something you’re really passionate about.

New hobbies, new friendships

Taking up a new hobby is not only a way to take your mind off your former partner, but also a great opportunity to meet new people. New acquaintances can help you see the world from a different perspective, as well as give you support in difficult times.

Self-realization and personal development

Taking up a new hobby is also a great opportunity for self-realization and personal development. It allows you to discover new talents, abilities or passions in yourself that were previously unknown to you. It’s a great way to build self-confidence and self-esteem.

Summary of the process of de-briefing

De-briefing is a difficult and often painful process. It requires time, support from loved ones and acceptance of your own feelings. It is important to remember that everyone has the right to happiness and everyone deserves love that is mutual. Therefore, if you feel that your affection is bringing you more pain than joy, it is worth taking steps to de-friend and find peace of mind.

How to de-friend – frequently asked questions

How do you unlove yourself?

In order to de-love, it is important to accept your feelings, gain distance from the person you are feeling, and seek support from loved ones and possibly professionals.

How much time does it take to de-friend?

The amount of time it takes to de-friend is individual for each person and depends on the depth of feelings and the circumstances of the relationship.

How does one dissociate while in a relationship?

To un-divorce while in a relationship requires a sincere conversation with your partner, reflection on your own feelings and possibly therapeutic support.

How to forget the love of your life?

To forget the love of your life, you should focus on new experiences, hobbies and building relationships with other people.

Is longing already love?

Longing is one of the feelings that can accompany love, but in itself is not equivalent to love.

How to know that it is true love?

True love can be known by deep trust, mutual respect and a desire for the good of the other person, even at the expense of one’s own comfort.

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